I am an ordained minister.
Yes, I finally decided to get myself ordained online with the ULC. I actually agree with their beliefs and like the idea of being considered a minister without having to go through all that study and coursework. So now I can perform marriages, baptisms, exorcisms, etc. Except in North Carolina.
Yes, my ever-so-tolerant home state can't pull its head out of its ass long enough to recognize ULC ministers as qualified to officiate marriages. Even though the statutes state that a minister of any religious denomination can officiate, NC case law has found that a mail-order ordination somehow doesn't count. Well excuse me, bitches. Maybe not all of us care to subscribe to a religion that doesn't allow all of its members to be ministers without a grueling course of study. I love how this state allows a Cherokee shaman to whoop and holler and sing and chant and solemnize a marriage, but thinks a guy like me who believes that all religions are the same path to God is some sort of charlatan.
For that matter, why is it that states don't allow everybody to officiate marriages? What is it about a minister or magistrate that magically makes him more qualified to read some shit aloud and pronounce a couple married? At the very least, public notaries should be permitted to officiate. Anyway, realistically, anyone can file the marriage license and claim to be a minister. It's not like there's a central database of ordained ministers.
Well, at least now I have an excuse to wear a white clerical collar. Perhaps a pointy bishop hat?
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