You, too, can go from riches to rags in just one day!

Every now and then, the universe likes to remind me that I am its bitch, to be bought and sold for cartons of Kools.

For Christmas, I received a total of $450 in monetary instruments, in addition to other fine gifts. Not a bad haul. I had grand plans for this infusion of funds: gentle-manly garments, adornments for my auto-voiture, books, and household improvements. After the events of yesterday, these purchases must be postponed.

The first event I actually halfway expected to happen. My trusty Ford refused to start up yester-morn. It had sat idle outside the house for three days, and for the past few weeks had been hesitant to start. A call to AAA and an hour later, I was writing a check for $130 for a new battery and a new positive battery clamp (the old one had been practically disintegrated by leaking acid). I may have gotten screwed, but the brand was supposedly top of the line, plus it was very convenient to have it installed right there at my doorstep. The battery he removed was the brand AAA used to sell, and it had lasted 7 years, so I imagine they know their stuff when it comes to selecting products.

So off to work I went, my coffers $130 lighter. When I returned home in the evening, I let the dog out as usual and went into the living room, intending to sit down and view the Peanuts 1970s DVDs I had received, when what to my wandering eye should appear, but a torn-up candy wrapper on the sofa, oh dear. Our little 25-pound dog had eaten a good 4 ounces of dark chocolate. Off to the after-hours emergency vet she went for a forced vomiting and an overnight observation costing $657. Yes, there are three digits there and no decimal. Six-hundred fifty-seven and no/100 dollars. We decided it was worth the money not to risk her having an arrhythmia without immediate medical attention.

Ma and Pa helped out with the veterinary bill, but in total I dropped my entire Christmas monies plus $80 yesterday. Any New Year's Eve festivities, therefore, will have to be on the super-cheap. We may just go hang out with friends in Raleigh. No fabulous clothes beyond what the gift card will afford. No chrome side molding or Grand Marquis corner lights for Vicky. I had damn well better win something in the lottery this week.