Why renting movies is better than going to the theater

In my previous post, I wrote a bit about the advantages of home viewing over going to theaters. I'll elaborate and expand.

No children
There are so many great movies being churned out time and again aimed at a young audience, but with excellent stories, writing, and characters that enthrall adult audiences as well. My full enjoyment of these films is diminished if I have to share a theater with 30 children scattered about babbling nonsensically, blurting things out, kicking the seats, spilling their M&Ms all over the floor, or whispering stupid questions like "Mommy, who's that?" when a new character has just been fucking introduced and we don't know who the fuck he is yet.

No dumbshits trickling in 10 minutes after the feature has started
OK geniuses, there are these things theaters have had for decades called listings. If you look them up online, in the newspaper, or call the theater, you'll get a list of exactly what time every show will start! No, really, it's true! And you know what else? It's not an approximate time. It's not 2:30-ish. It's exactly when the projector starts rolling and when you should have your fat ass in the fucking seat. I can't stand it when people waddle in, look around with a dumbfounded expression because their desired seats are filled, or give my wife and me dirty looks because we're taking up 4 seats (fuck you, numb-nuts, we got here 30 minutes in advance so we wouldn't have to risk physical contact with or proximity to commoners), then finally plop down someplace and noisily get themselves settled in. Sitter didn't show up on time? Tough shit, wait for the next screening. Although I applaud that you actually got a sitter instead of taking your 1-year-old to an R-rated movie.

Clean, comfortable seating and leg room.
I'm 6'2". I like to stretch out. In my living room, I can lean back, prop my feet up in my cushy recliner, and not worry about whether some kid pissed on it during the previous showing.

Pause button!
I order a large drink for us to share when we go to the movies, which comes with free refills. So of course I often have to take a leak if the movie is more than 90 minutes long and risk missing important dialog or action in the time it takes me to walk the half-mile from the theater to the men's room, pee, and walk back. At home, I can pause the DVD and not miss a minute while I void my bladder in the bathroom 20 feet away.

On my schedule
I don't have to rush to get to the theater 30 minutes before show time to get a good seat, nor must I be a slave to their schedule.

Snacks & drinks are about 6 feet away
At the multiplex, I might as well pack a canteen and a change of clothes for the long trek to the concession stand for free refills. In my own house, the fridge is about 7 feet away from my chair, and within direct view of the TV, so I don't even have to pause the movie to get more snacks.

Come as you are
I can watch movies in my pajamas at home, or even my undies if I feel like it. People tend to give you funny looks if you attempt this in a theater. Plus at home I don't have to wait an eternity for my wife to put on her makeup just to go sit in the dark.

Yummy popcorn
Hot buttered popcorn at the movie theater has the potential for deliciousness, but frequently disappoints. More and more often, it seems, my mouth is assaulted with stale, lukewarm popcorn that's been sitting under a hot lamp since morning. At home, it comes straight out of the microwave, piping hot, and not handled by some minimum-wage flunky.

Booze
At home, I can get shit-faced and enhance my enjoyment of comedies. Bruno was great after a few vodka shots.

Savings!
I know the theater has to cover its expenses and turn a profit, and so do the filmmakers. I just don't feel like dropping $7 on a single ticket just to get raped again at the concession stand, with no guarantee that the movie will be worth it. Concession prices seem to be going up and up. The theater we usually go to even stopped offering its $10 popcorn & drink combo with free refills, the cheap bastards. For a while there, they even stopped having salt for the stale popcorn!