Grail Diarrhea

I'm trying to figure out an efficient way to mass-produce my hand-drawn version of the Grail Diary from Last Crusade, in hopes of selling them on ebay as an affordable alternative to the prop-quality ones that go for hundreds of dollars, which are aged by hand and bound in leather one at a time. Even if I printed scans of the book onto aged-looking parchment paper, binding a book by hand is a pain in the ass and wouldn't make the selling price worth the effort. I looked at lulu.com but for some reason the wankers don't offer the 4.25 x 6.87 size in full color (which I would need for simulating aged-looking pages).

I'm heading back to Wrightsville tomorrow. This time we'll be more frugal and only eat out twice for lunch. It was a big help last time I was there when I found $42 on the ground while waiting in line for the Trolley Stop. Being an honest man, my first thought was to ask if anyone had dropped it, but my common sense kicked in and reminded me that a dishonest person would answer yes, even if he was not the rightful claimant. There were teenagers in the line, after all. Anyway, the money paid for our lunch and allowed us to indulge in iced-cream. I will consider it a gift from above, as if God were saying, "go forth and haveth fun."

In other news, I think I'll hold off on a car purchase. That 4runner is a great deal, but I can't really justify spending 3 grand on a car when the one I have is perfectly fine mechanically. My only reason for buying it is an emotional one, in that I want to attract less attention to myself and enjoy the nostalgic feeling of a '90s car that I might have actually driven back then (I wouldn't have had a Crown Vic). Plus the car dates from earlier in the decade, giving me greater choice in assigning a particular year to my flight of fancy on a given day. Hindsight is always 20/20; if I hadn't been so obsessed with having an authoritative-looking vehicle and had been thinking like a sane person, I would have purchased something less noticeable and better suited to my personality (and age). But, if I hadn't bought the Vic, to this day I would be longing for one, not understanding the value of looking respectable while blending in. I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger... I think what I'll do is get the money ready, and next time I get to Raleigh, I'll look at the car if it's still for sale, which I'll interpret as a divine sign that I should at least seriously consider buying it. Sure, I'd be out 3 grand, but I'd feel a huge sense of relief that the pigs won't be after me to pin a bullshit impersonation charge on me. Plus I wouldn't have to have all those silly stickers on the back. Just throw in a Surge bottle, put on some Barenaked Ladies, and zoom off into '90s fantasy land.