Shall pay to the reader on demand

Ramblings and Musings of a Man Who Toils in a Cubicle and Yet Still Has Too Much Free Time to Think About Pointless Shit and then Write it Down

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The L.L. Bean orgy is winding down

True to my word, I have been amassing an impressive collection of casual toggery from respected outfitter L.L. Bean, but it's time to rein in the orgy of spending. Making an effort to shift away from stodgy old man to youthful-yet-timeless, I purchased items such as long-sleeve t-shirts to be worn under regular t-shirts, chunky rib-knit cotton sweaters, waffle-knit cotton layering shirts, plain-front chino trousers that avoid the impression of old-man front-butt, bright striped polo shirts, and washed jeans cut to fit more flatteringly than my other ones. My duffel coat is a fabulous addition to my winter outerwear; warm, good-looking, and long enough to cover my bum without getting bunched up in the car. I also gathered a few "preppy" staples such as cotton web belts (one in khaki with a blue stripe, the other in blue with a repeating pattern of sailboats), and a pair of their classic Bean Boots, which have already been quite handy in our recent wet weather. I went a little overboard with a few unnecessary accessories, such as a fleece jacket that I couldn't pass up at 20% off, as well as a steel sports bottle, a red plaid scarf that looks perfect with the navy blue duffel coat, a pair of swim trunks (an upgrade from my Old Navy ones), a nice canvas shoulder bag (man purse), two soft-sided coolers (in different sizes), and even a distressed wooden chess set as a decorative piece. It actually looks really great on our huge coffee table, and helps give off that impression of being at a family beach house. The shoulder bag will be useful for outdoor activities such as the Highland Games or beach-sitting. The big soft cooler will be great for the beach, as it has a padded shoulder strap, so it should be much easier to carry than the rigid plastic Coleman.

So far this season I've only worn one of my fedoras once, when fully dressed in coat & tie for lunch at my in-laws' country club. The rest of the time I've been quite content with my faded L.L. Bean baseball cap. For the past several years, I've been known for my fedoras, wearing them almost exclusively when the weather turned cold, but honestly, they just don't look right with the duffel coat, and the faded cap looks so much more youthful anyway. In homage to a trend among my high school classmates back in the good old '90s, so I've been wearing my t-shirts from Dockside and Sanitary Restaurant over long-sleeve t-shirts. I've also taken a shine to wearing thick flannel shirts over the waffle-knit shirts for an outdoorsy look. I think maybe, finally, I've hit on a fashion sense that works for me. Coming into the office one day last week, wearing my new faded jeans with a wide belt and a slightly douchey front-tuck, I noticed the new girl's eyes quickly glance at my junk while flashing a wide smile as she said hi. Success! I am youthful and attractive! While I'm happily married and not interested in any sort of fling, it's still nice to get that kind of attention from the ladies.

The after-Christmas orgy of consumption has to come to a close, however. I burned through my annual bonus on the clothes and a few other things, and now that the big ugly bill from the hospital has arrived, it's back to austerity for a good long while, but at least I'll be well-dressed while I'm eating my beans & rice at home on Saturday nights.

No comments: