Just when you thought I couldn't get more pretentious

I figured this was as good a time as any to pen another entry. I'm running Adobe Aftereffects right now and the god-damned pinwheel starts spinning every time I make a small change.

Lately I've become fascinated by ultra-exclusive credit cards. No, I'm not going to get one. Friends who read this blog know how I feel about the consumer credit system. Nonetheless, I can understand the mystical allure of certain high-end pieces of plastic.

The most exclusive card appears to be the American Express Centurion card. Currently it is an invitation-only program, and even if you do get invited, it comes with a $5,000 membership fee, and then you have to spend $250,000 a year with the card. Needless to say, only a very tiny percentage of the American public are members. Amex further enhanced the perception of superiority by designing the card with metallic silver print on a black background, and went even further by printing it on a thin piece of titanium. A plastic version exists as well, because the titanium one has proven problematic with some card readers. Visa horned in on the scene by offering the "Black Card," and tried to present it as a fabulous exclusive card on par with the Centurion. The difference was, any flunky earning at least $15,000 a year who could pony up a $495 annual fee could get a Black Card. So much for exclusivity.

So, being a pretentious prick and an obsessive artist, I immediately looked into the possibility of making a "replica" Centurion card. I created a photoshop template and will soon turn it into a plastic card to display in my wallet. I haven't hit upon any methods of replicating raised numbers without expensive equipment, but it's not like I'm going to pull it out and try to use it.

I did find out about a method of changing the appearance of a genuine credit card. It involves printing a new image on a sheet of iron-on decal paper and affixing with 3M spray mount and a warm (not hot) iron. I'm considering redecorating my boring debit card with a bullshit title like "Visa Onyx" or something else impressive-looking. It would still function normally, but look far more awesome.

A wallet full of "replica" credit cards on display. All I need now is a Mercedes key fob for the keys to my 12-year-old Ford and my $90,000 house.