The McDuck Mansion drove me crazy!

I was a die-hard Ducktales fan. I about shat a brick when it premiered back in '87 in the form of a prime time feature-length movie, Treasure of the Golden Suns. From that night, I was hooked, and watched it religiously, as first-run episodes and syndicated reruns on the Disney Afternoon. At this same time in my life, I had a great interest in architecture, and would often design floor plans of elaborate residences. So it was only natural for me to want a set of floor plans for Uncle Scrooge's mansion as depicted on Ducktales.

I'm afraid the artists and directors working on the series weren't very concerned with maintaining continuity, and severely underestimated the ability of academically gifted 7–10 year olds to notice inconsistencies in set designs from one episode to another. That damned mansion never made any sense, and laying out its floor plan was impossible. Doors that would have led outside weren't shown on outdoor shots. Rooms would change positions, too—the nephews' room would face the front yard in one episode, and the back yard in another. Sometimes Scrooge's library had a huge window, and other times it was windowless. And for whatever reason, Scrooge's study was on the ground floor, but seemed to be accessible only by descending a flight of stairs from an upstairs hall. I even wrote a letter to Ducktales Magazine asking for a set of floor plans, but received no response. I don't think they ever had any to start with. To think a 9-year-old had a better understanding of the importance of continuity in making a program more believable than a bunch of adults.

While I'm on the topic of impossible TV structures, the set designers for the TGIF programs were also smoking something other than harmless tobacco. The exterior shot of the Winslows' house on Family Matters, for example, showed the front door on the viewer's left and a bay window on the right, but the interior set reversed this arrangement, and the stairwell had an octagonal window which doesn't appear anywhere on the exterior shot. D.J. and Stephanie's room on Full House would have been hanging off the side of the house. And anyone ascending the kitchen stairs on Boy Meets World would have wound up in the tree in the back yard. ATTN TGIF: WTF?

At least those responsible for continuity on The Simpsons eventually got their shit together. In the first 2 seasons, the living room and dining room would frequently switch positions, and the staircase would go from one side of the foyer to the other. Sometimes there were rounded windows on the front of the house, sometimes there were bay windows. After 20 seasons we can nail down a layout of the house at 742 Evergreen Terrace (even the house number wasn't consistent for a few seasons), though viewers remain perplexed by the "door of mystery" at the end of the foyer. Sometimes it's a closet, other times it's the door to the basement.

Something I'd like to do with lottery winnings would be to construct an accurate real-life interpretation of the Simpsons' house. I realize this was already attempted years ago for a sweepstakes prize, but the dimensions were all confucktified due to the size of the lot, forcing a bay window to straddle the foyer and dining room. I would make it true to the show, with all the furniture custom-made and painted in garish colors. The kitchen would be stocked with food items bearing labels such as Mama Discounta's pizza, Uncle Jim's Country Fillin', Ham Ahoy, Krusty Flakes, Duff Beer, Buzz Cola, and Lard Lad Donuts. The general public would not have access to such a place, but I would definitely invite friends to stay in the Simpsons' house.